The Hurricane Slump...

       So it has been about two and a half weeks since the Mudder and I have officially done NOTHING in the way of exercise or activity. Literally nothing. At first I was blaming it on "healing time" - seeing as I was so sore I couldn't even blink without feeling the pain radiate down my body. Then Hurricane Sandy hit and the gym was closed for a week. No power. No heat. No nuthin'.  With that, I was off of school for the week, lounging around being a lazy bum, and to be honest, fitness was the last thing on my mind. Instead, I ate my face off out of boredom. And now I have a wicked cold that has moved into my chest and just breathing while sitting is difficult.
    Let me explain, I am trying not to sound like a pathetic complainer. I am just stating that I am clearly in a slump and now, without the motivation of the Mudder to get me to move my ass, I am going to need to find something new to get me moving. Tri season is over. The Mudder is behind me and now I need a new fitness endeavor. Any ideas??
     I want to swim, but the nearest aquatic center charges an arm and a leg for membership... no seriously, it's ridiculous! And to pay for that on top of my gym membership is a little crazy. Plus it's not very close. So instead, I think that I really want to find one of those boot camp programs to try. I have several friends who have done it and are addicted! They are stronger than they've ever been. Motivated. Energetic. And, best of all, excited about working out! Let me tell you, I would LOVE to get excited about working out... so we'll see what I can find. The other thing I was thinking was one of those "Turbo Fire" or "Insanity" workout video systems, but I have a feeling that it would end up functioning as a coaster instead of in my DVD player, so that might not work out. Anyone got any good ideas??
     

Am I Out of My Effin Mind?!? TriState Tough Mudder Oct 20, 2012

Oh. My. God. I seriously just experienced the most awesome/horrible day of my life. The TriState Tough Mudder is a 12.5 mile mud-run obstacle course OF HELL! It was designed by British Special Ops because they became bored with running Triathlons and Ironman competitions and were looking for something more challenging. (That should have already been a BIG FRIGGIN neon warning sign telling me RUN (ok, jog) THE OTHER WAY!)
     What made me think I could do this, you ask? Peer pressure, my friends. Good, old-fashioned, peer pressure. Let me explain. My friends are nuts. No seriously, certifiable. Several of them have run this thing 4 or 5 times and have the tattoos to prove it. As you know given the title of this blog, I was Formerly Fat. Not a little heavy. Not pleasantly plump. Severely overweight. So I was never really eligible to even attempt something this monumental, in fact, I was never even asked. I'm sure it was my friends being sensitive to the fact that I could never, ever have participated in a challenge like this 100 pounds ago. Never. I had a tough time NOW.
       So fast forward almost two and a half years - I was asked and somehow they convinced me. They said, "If you can do Triathlons, you can SO do a Mudder." I wasn't convinced. But I did see it to be great motivation for me to continue my training. An end goal, if you will. Therefore, I continued to train for my Tri's (my last one of the season was mid-Sept) which gave me one more month to push my training to the limits to prepare for this "race". I quoted race because it is not a race, not at all. In fact, you have to take an oath to not even consider it a race, but more of a challenge - to challenge yourself, to challenge your teammates, and to work together to get everyone to cross the finish line. It was for that reason that I signed up. I wanted to be apart of the camaraderie and force myself out of my comfort zone, and that I did.
   Four o'clock wake up. Out the door by five. To Jen and Brian's by six. To get to the parking station by 7:30. To get to the event by 8:30. Start time 9:00. Ugh. And then we were going to have to run/climb/crawl/carry/dig for 5 hours after that!? Oh god. Well, needless to say, our mighty team of 5 (Me and Jen, the only kick ass girls on the team!, Brian, Pat and Ted) totally lived up to the challenge. Seriously, I did 20 of the 22 obstacles. I overcame some serious fears. I was stronger than I ever thought I could be. I ran a good majority of the 12.5 mile course. I was tired. I was cramping. I was hungry. I was physically fatigued. But I kept going. I rolled my left ankle. I strained my hip flexor, dislocated my right shoulder, and wore my toes down to bloody stumps, but I did not stop. I did not give up. I kept fighting until I crossed that God-forsaken finish line, and I can, without a doubt in my mind, say that I have never been more proud of myself in my life.
    I feel like this weight loss journey has been like a road through hell and back. I fear, literally, to the point of anxiety sometimes, creeping back up to my original weight, redeveloping those old habits. I'm terrified. But it is moments like this that make me realize that I AM NOT the same woman that I was back then. I am stronger. I am more proud. I feel like I have something to lose and something worth fighting for. I never felt like that before now.
     I will also admit, pretty confidently, that that was the first AND LAST Tough Mudder that I'll ever do. .... Maybe I should watch what I say, I've heard you should never say never.

*Note: Most of the images in this video montage are mine, but the ones that aren't belong to the Tough Mudder organization. I'm not certain how liability whatnot works for copyright material, but I just wanted to give credit where credit is due! 

Atlantic City International Triathlon (Sept. 15, 2012)

Here we go - Triathlon #3 - (Damn, these things are addicting!) Let me start by saying that I have only ever raced in July, which is clearly far different than racing in September. The water is colder, the air temp is colder, and it is pretty much a crap shoot as to what kind of weather you'll face. So that was a bit of a wake up call. (Haha... pun intended!)

   I arrived into Atlantic City Friday evening to pick up my race packet/bib. My whole family was coming to meet me so that they could cheer me on the next day, which was totally awesome. When I arrived in AC, Karli and I picked up my sister Laura at our hotel who had arrived about an hour ahead of us, and together we went to pick up my information and scope out the scene. We were dressed in jeans and hoodies and we were freezing our asses off. The wind on the water was wild and, like a fool, I wanted to test the water temp just to see what I would be facing the next day. Thankfully, my better judgement kicked into gear and I figured I better not since, if it was too cold, I probably would change my mind and not show up. 

   So I enjoyed the evening with my sisters and my parents; we hung out and walked the boardwalk, until it was time for me to tuck in. Now, I had weirdly pulled a muscle in my back about 2 days prior and was still nursing the injury as best as I could. Not fun. So between the muscle pull in my back, and the imminent freezing water, along with the crack of dawn wake up call, I was already dreading the next morning. According to our race info, all competitors had to be checked into (and out of) transition by 6:30am NO EXCEPTIONS and the race began at 8:00. So I planned to leave our hotel at 5:00, which was only 10 minutes from the venue, leaving me plenty of time to set up and stretch and relax before my heat. 

    The alarm rang at 4:30 (ugh), I got dressed and grabbed my bag, prepped to meet my dad in the lobby at 5:00. I gave the valet our car slip and waited for my dad. Time ticked. 5:05. 5:08. My dad arrived and we were ready to go... just waiting on the car. And waiting. And waiting. 5:15. 5:20. I'm having a mini-heart attack, but am trying to remain calm. I'm thinking, "I might just have to cab it on over, but MY BIKE IS IN THE CAR!" Frick! The valet and his manager return and say that they can't find our keys and therefore, can't find the car. Are you freakin' kidding me? 5:30. 5:35. It is now a quarter to 6 and I am about ready to cry. I am a ball of nerves and anxiety, not what you want to be before a race. We FINALLY locate the keys (they hung them on the wrong rack, dumbasses!) and we jump in the car and SPEEEEED like lunatics over to the race. Now, I want to vomit. I wasn't nervous before, but now I only have like 30 minutes to get marked, get my transition set up, and get out of transition with everything I need. Yeah, no pressure. 

Freezing my #@$% off before start time!

     Did I mention that it is like 50 degrees outside and windy as all get-out. Seriously, I'm having trouble standing up straight, that's how windy it is. And all I'm thinking is, "There is NO WAY that I'm getting in that water!" I was freezing just standing there - how on Earth was I jumping into freezing water and then back out to finish the race? Impossible. I was tempted to just grab my dad and say "eff this, let's go to breakfast!" But my conscience got the better of me and reminded me that I am not a quitter. Ugh. Stupid conscience. I was also the second to last heat to go. So I'm standing there in my hoodie, shivering and trying to stay loose, but to no avail. And all the while thinking, "Forget this, I'm going home." Too much time to psych myself out. Long story short, my heat's horn blew and we got in the water and oddly enough, the water temp was higher than the air temp, so the water actually felt WARM... like really warm. Now I wanted to stay in the water and feared how cold I'd be getting out. Yikes, what a head-game!  

My sisters, Laura and Karli, running me into the finish.
*Note: The time on the clock is the TOTAL time, not my personal time.
I was one of the last heats to go. My finish time was 1:36:28.

     Anyway, I did it. I drank a good amount of bay water because of the choppy-ness and the waves smacking me in the face. Yummy saltwater. I did well swimming, especially in such different conditions than what I am used to. I got out. Froze, of course. Toweled off and then just jumped right on the bike. The bike was the WORST. Always is for me, but this time the wind made me feel like a was pedaling backwards! My legs were going and going and I felt like I was on a stationary bike, going nowhere fast. We biked up the parkway, which was kinda cool. And it was a flat course which I was thankful for. Finally, after what seemed like a 13 hours bike ride, I made it back and began my run. It was such a scenic and beautiful course up on the boardwalk. I ran almost all of it, which made me happy. It turned out to be a gorgeous day and best of all, the last 100 meters or so, as I was coming into the finish line, my sisters snuck under the ropes, grabbed my hands and ran me through to the finish just as Eye of the Tiger blasted through the loud speaker. How triumphant! It was such a cool moment and I was so thankful to have finished, and even more thankful to have had my family there to support me.

STATS: Place overall: 411/502; Swim Time: 9:29 - Swim Rank: 205 (Whaaat!); T1 6:37 - T1 Rank: 352; Bike Time: 36:05 - Bike Rank: 397; T2 Time: 4:44 - T2 Rank: 382; Run Time: 39:33 - Run Rank: 444; Total Time: 1:36:28

New Jersey State Triathlon: Round Two (July 21, 2012)

    On July 21, almost two years after this crazy weight loss adventure began, I competed in my second Sprint Triathlon. I was a little afraid since I wasn't able to train as fiercely as I did with the first one due to three hospital trips in under a month.... Friggin' kidney stones! I still wasn't feeling my best, but I had registered, had trained, and had promised myself that I would do at least show up and go for as long as I could. Race day came and the weather was PERFECT, so much better than the 106 degree race we ran last year. My parents, along with my sister Karli and her best friend Carly, came as my cheering squad and I did great! I felt like a seasoned pro! In fact, as I was setting up my station I had the opportunity to meet some of the other women in my heat and socialize a bit while I was stretching and setting things up. One girl came up to me and said, "I remember you! You KILLED the swim leg last year! Totally destroyed it!" And I was like, "Uhh.... are you sure that was me?"To which she responded, "Oh yeah, I remember that we started together in the water and it took me like 20 minutes to finish and you were out in like half that time!" And you know what... she was right. I think last year's swim took me about 11:40ish minutes. This year I smashed all of my times by A TON. My transitions were so much better and I ran the whole run course! Overall I placed 1018 out of about 1150 competitors, which isn't wonderful, but as I said, all I wanted to do was finish and if I could beat my own personal records then it was a WIN for me.

STATS: My swim time was 11:48 with a swim place of 366 overall (that's freakin' awesome! 366 out of 1150! ow ow! So I am a beast in the water!). My T1 was 3:15, my bike was 47:16, my T2 was 4:20 and my run was 37:42. My total race took 1:44:21.

Lots to Fill You In On...

    So I'm going to start by NOT apologizing for my absence, seeing as I've begun more than half of my entries in such a fashion. It's getting old.  And I only have myself to blame. But between being a full time high school teacher, a full time Grad Student in an MFA Writing program, and a part time makeup artist... blogging (sadly) seems to be the furthest thing from my mind. But I must admit that I do LOVE going back and reading through the entries I have written, which was exactly the purpose from the start. Therefore, instead of apologizing, we're just going to chalk it up to "life" and move on.
    Now that that's cleared up, I have A TON to fill you in on. In fact, I might make separate entries for each event, just to keep it somewhat organized. Sooooo... keep reading, it's gonna get good!

Annnd I'm back!

     So clearly I've been missing for awhile. And I'm sure that you are not interested in the excuse "I was busy" (which is true), but let's just say that life has handed me a DUMP TRUCK full of lemons. And try as I might to make lemonade, I'm still up to my ears in lemons. (Are you following this crazy metaphor or have I lost you yet?) Anyway, as you may know, I started this blog to help me keep myself on track with my weight loss and to chronicle the trials and tribulations that maintaining my weight loss would inevitably hand me. Not to sound selfish or egocentric, but this blog was always for me and if I happened to collect a follower or two, so much the better! So I apologize for my break, but I'm almost certain that not too many people out there really cared one way or the other. But for my sake, I really want to try and get back into blogging more regularly, especially as maintenance is becoming more and more challenging as time goes on.
   Ok, with that being said, this upcoming Saturday (July 21) I will compete in my second Triathlon. I have had some obstacles to overcome in my training, as I have been in and out of the hospital over the past three weeks with kidney stones. (Let me tell you, just in case you were ever thinking about getting some kidney stones, you know, just for fun - DON'T. Seriously. It might just be the worst pain I've ever experienced in my whole life. AND I'VE HAD MENINGITIS TWICE! Not cool.) So training has sadly fallen by the way-side. But I'm still gonna go and do my best. Once again, it's not about my finishing time. It's about me going and completing it. It's about me having maintained my weight loss and my exercise habits well enough to even be able to consider competing again in the event. Therefore, no matter how well I do (or don't do) as long as I finish it, I'll be thrilled. In fact, I went for a run today and completed a 3.25 mile run in 34:30. That's my best time ever for that distance. I'm not gonna lie. It sucked. I was friggin' hot and my legs felt like lead, but I just kept saying "One foot in front of the other" and lo and behold, I did it. I will post a recap of the event after I finish the Tri on Saturday to let you know how it goes.
     I'll leave you with this quote, which is going to be my mindset going into this final week: "The miracle isn't that you finished. The miracle is that you had the courage to start."
    Booyah!

Oh the Catch-22 of Weight Loss...

    I have noticed that I am ridiculously hungry lately. Like an "I wanna eat my sofa" kind of hungry! And I must confess, I am a snacker. I like to munch and crunch. I like the mechanics of it. I like the sound of it. And frankly, it gives me something to do with my hands while I am at work or sitting around since knitting at work might be wildly inappropriate. Therefore, I have had to learn to control my snacking habits, and when I do snack, I (try to) reach for healthier options: nuts, fiber one bars, fruit, you know, the usual.
    Sounds like I'm doing fine, right? Well, here is my predicament: I have been working out pretty frequently lately, my goal being at least 4x a week. And I have noticed such a dramatic spike in my hunger that it is almost mind-bending. I literally am thinking about food ALL THE TIME. And even though I am terrified of returning to my old ways, I cannot focus on other things when I'm SO DAMN HUNGRY! Sounds ridiculous I know, but I was reading BariatricGirl's blog (you should check her out... she's done so phenomenally and she looks INCREDIBLE!) and she kept discussing her (our) relationship with food as an addiction. Though it's hard to comprehend that something like food has such power over us mentally, I have to hope that there must be a way to beat it.
     So far, my way of "beating it" is to fight fire with fire, mental power versus mental power by repeating my mantra, "I am NEVER going back!" And it works. (Most times.) But it also helps to know that there are so many of us out there that are struggling and have struggled with obesity or weight issues. We need to use each other as a support network, as a source of inspiration and a reminder that we are in this together. So gear up brain, cause we have a war to win!

MyFitnessPal Where Have You Been All My Life?!?

    So the MyFitnessPal App is a GOD SEND. I am ordinarily terrible at tracking my food intake, especially when it comes to writing it down as I'm consuming the food in question. But thanks to this AWESOME app, I have been sticking to this calorie counting pretty diligently. I downloaded it on my iPad and log in as often as I can.
    I had hit a plateau in my weight-loss voyage and was in desperate need of a motivational-swift-kick-in-the-ass, and this was just what I needed. I actually have a good friend who tracked her calories and activity using this app and she lost about 50 pounds. (Yay her!)
    And best of all? IT'S FREE!!! So what are you waiting for?? Go download it now - you'll be happy you did!