21 Day Fix - Day 10 - A Mistake Ain't the End of the World

I know I skipped a lot of days of blogging, but really, it's because there isn't all that much to report. I'm sticking to the plan. I'm working out most days a week. I shoot for a goal of five out of seven. If I can do all seven then awesome, but I feel like five is fair amidst my teaching schedule and you know, life.

Photo credit: http://mealandaspiel.com/

In general, I'm feeling really great! I have noticed that my appetite has decreased. I don't crave the crap food as much any more. And I am seeing a difference when I weigh and measure myself, which is encouraging! I won't say I haven't "slipped up' because I have - I'm human. But I want to try to reprogram my brain to not think of these moments so negatively. It's just a part of life for god's sake. I mean, I don't want to live in a world where I can't have a bite of cake every once in a while. That, my friends, ain't a life worth livin'.  

And I think that the way we perceive these so called 'cheat' meals can be really harmful to our psyche. We eat something that off the plan and maybe not so good for us and we instantly feel a sense of overwhelming guilt. We feel like failures. And that feeling sucks! For many of us, eating has emotional roots, so to be overcome with such a sense of defeat can actually trigger more harmful and binge-like behavior. It's a vicious cycle based on a warped mentality. And it takes time, work, and constant effort to work on it.

I went to a nutritionist/support group/behavior health study thing at Drexel University. In fact, it's sort of what kicked off this whole weight loss journey five years ago. It was orchestrated through their psychology department, not medical school. (How interesting, right?) And the study focused on behavior modifications - how to build and deconstruct both good and bad habits, how to rewire your brain to think about exercise and nutrition, etc. It wasn't a miracle cure. There weren't any magical electrodes or shock therapy or brainwashing. It was just common sense strategies that we could implement in our everyday lives to help us make better choices. The weight loss element of it was based on good ole-fashioned calorie counting and exercise. Ain't no other way to do it. Tracking input vs output and working on how to make time for physical activity. We also had a one hour meeting to discuss obstacles and difficulties, as well as successes of our week.

The reason I bring this VERY LONG story up is because our group leader said some really great things that really stuck with me long after our meetings were over. The first is that if you have a 'cheat meal' - if you go bananas and stuff your face with chocolate covered bacon topped Belgian waffles or something equally as delicious yet devastating calorically - most people think, "Well, I effed up my day, I might as well just say screw it and eat whatever I want and then just start over again tomorrow." This, I have learned even though I am SO GUILTY of it myself, is detrimental to success. There is no reason to that we can't identify that the waffle wasn't the best choice, but with the very next thing you eat, make a better one. Try to make up for it by eating better things for the rest of the day and then you don't set yourself behind as far as you would if you just go balls-to-the-walls and eat everything in sight. Starting over is hard because every time you start over you're reminded that you quit. You messed up. It's psychologically debilitating.

I know that this weight loss journey is a journey for life. It doesn't matter that I lost 100 pounds, that I gained a few back, that I'm working to maintain my weight and all the good habits that I worked so hard to form way back when. The past, oddly enough, doesn't matter. It's all about the present. The choices that I make right here, right now. These choices, these habits, are now a part of my every day life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have to think about the things that I eat and the kind of effect they will have on my body and my health. However, if I am going to make such an effort to improve my body, then I might as well, while I'm at it, make an equal effort to improve my mind and my self-confidence. I don't think that they need to be mutually exclusive. I feel like being overweight my whole life has been psychologically damaging. It has left scars that I'm not sure will ever heal. But it's also made me a stronger person. I have had to face and overcome a lot and every step of that journey has made me the woman that I am today. A woman I am pretty proud to be.

So here's to not beating ourselves up over making mistakes. We're human, it's gonna happen. (If it doesn't you might be an andriod!) Life is hard, but maybe if we learn to take these mistakes in stride, they damage won't be as everlasting.