21 Day Fix - Day Two

The happy face of a girl whose finished her workout!

I thought I'd be waaaay more sore today. In fact, yesterday I told one of the girls in the accountability group, "Not gonna lie: the thought of [working out] again tomorrow, in spite of the debilitating soreness, kinda makes me wanna cry. But as the great Taylor Swift once said, we're gonna 'Shake it Off' and kick it's ass - even if it's in slow motion." But it's not as bad as it's been in the past, which is awesome.  

Today's workout: Upper Body Fix. So my arms might be jello tomorrow... we'll see. Actually, there isn't much to report for today. Thankfully I'm not all that hungry, which is good, and that has helped to stay on track with the eating part. 

The reason for this post and the main theme of this entry today is to explain a revelation that I had today during the second round of my circle crunches (which, by the way, suck!): and it is that NO ONE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR ME. I can quit. I can slack off. I can lie. I can phone it in. But no one benefits or suffers from half-assing it except for me. I mean, I was giving it my all today during my workout, but when it was getting hard, it was that thought that pushed me through it. 

I've been overweight my whole life. When I was growing up, my parents used to try to encourage me to exercise more and eat the right things (etc) right through my teen years and straight into my 20s. It wasn't until I was ready to do it on my own that things began to change. I had to not only want it for myself, I had to want to fight for it, in spite of the difficulties and struggles. 

And I am so grateful that I finally had that epiphany. I wish I would have had it sooner. But everything happens for a reason and everything happens when it's supposed to happen, so I live with no regrets. But bottom line: this is my battle, and I'm in it to win it. 

21 Day Fix - One Day at a Time - Day 1

I purchased Autumn Calabrese's 21 Day Fix back in the summer, mostly because of the workouts. I like the idea of a 30 minute intense workout. EVERYONE HAS TIME FOR 30 MINUTES!! It comes with a pre-measured, color-coded tupperware eating plan I thought would be simple, but it ended up overwhelming the shit out of me. It's based on a clean-eating style diet with strict portion control. I get it, conceptually, but in practice it was making me crazy. And it ended up being something that I couldn't stick with.

Now as you all now, based on the title of this blog, I lost a lot of weight a few years ago. But maintaining it has been almost harder than the loss itself. You notice the scale creep up one pound at a time and you make excuses: it's water weight, it's hormones, it's the heat, it's the cold, it's the alignment of Jupiter in the sun's orbital axis, blah blah blah. Until one pound turns to two turns to ten. You get the picture. I've worked TOO EFFIN HARD to go back to where I was. It ain't happening.  Let's get that clear right now. IT AIN'T HAPPENING!!!

Well, I've crept up more than a few pounds, nothing near what I used to be, but it's still me rockin' and rollin' in the wrong direction and I need to take steps to turn this shit back around. One of my best friends (Ashley) also ordered the 21 Day Fix a while ago and we discussed the pros and cons of the program last time we were together. Since then, she has really gotten on board with it and is kicking its ass, and is organizing an 'accountability group' on Facebook of about 85 people who all check in, offer tips and recipes, and keep the enthusiasm up. I said, you know what? Why the hell not?

So, it's day one and I already got off to a shit start. I couldn't find my stupid containers (I think my mom gave them away when she was packing up leftovers for my sisters. Not that we don't have 8,000 other tupperwares!! GRRR!!) I didn't know what to eat for breakfast. My dvd player decided to poop out when I went to do the workout and had to restart it three times. Ugh. Life was fighting me hard. But this bitch fought back and in the end, (I think) I won.

Truthfully, I'm probably not going to follow the eating plan outlined by the program and instead will do my own version of a low-carb, clean-eating style diet and track my calories with My Fitness Pal. I just don't see the tupperware and the style of counting and tracking to be something I can stick with. Therefore, I need to make accommodations to make it something that I can do - something that I want to do. Today was the official start day for the 21 Day Fix Accountability group, but I've been eating in this fashion for the last week and already see results on the scale so I know that paired with the workouts, I should do well.

But I'm jazzed about the 'accountability' part. It's something I need in order to be successful. When I first started losing weight about five years ago, I needed to register for a race (actually a Sprint Triathlon - check out that blog entry here) in order to hold myself accountable to work out. All I kept thinking was, "If I skip my workout today, I'm gonna look like a jackass on race day when I'm dead on the side of the course." I thought about starting Weight Watchers for the same reason. But it is costly, and I already have the 21 Day Fix program, and Ashley has volunteered to be my coach - which means that she checks in with me and is my lifeline if I am staring down the face of a chocolate dessert into which feel myself caving. (I can only imagine that phone call - my voice wild with panic, the desperation palpable.) I had to write her an email today with all of my measurements and my weight and it kinda made me want to jump off a bridge. Or a cliff. Or out a plane without a chute. But I did it. This is what being accountable is all about. And if I can't tell this shit to my best friend then who can I tell? Best part? Is that she gets it too. Not that I want her to struggle in any way with weight (and trust me, she is by no means 'fat') but she is someone who understands that weight loss is a continuous battle. An every day struggle. My family (God love'em) doesn't really get that. They've never had to struggle with weight the way I have.

So here we go. I'm kinda stoked to be blogging again too! This is what this blog was supposed to be for. I will certainly keep you posted. Let me know if you guys have any questions and I'll be sure to answer them as best as possible. Aside from that, pray for me.

This is the face that says "Eff, I really don't feel like doing this right now, 
but I'm gonna do it anyway!!"

A Month-Long Escape from Winter

     While I've never enjoyed the cold, I was born and raised in the Northeast and have just learned to accept the cold weather as a natural part of living. My tears freeze my eyelashes closed. I can't feel my face. It sucks and I hate it and I usually complain more than I aught to about it, but short of moving some place tropical (and I have), what can you do?
    The answer: run away to some place warm for as long as I can. Naples, Florida has been a vacation destination for my family since I was a kid, it became home to me for a period of time after grad school, and has since been home to one of my best friends, Shelley. So when I realized that my late semester doesn't begin until the end of February, I booked a month long trip in an effort to escape the winter weather and go visit Shelley. Two birds, one stone.
      We had such a wonderful time - her family was so amazingly hospitable, like a family away from home. And since I was down for a month, my parents decided to get away as well and come visit for a week, during which we went to the Keys.
      I just returned home and was greeted by almost a foot of snow and it is still-a-comin. I keep asking myself, "why the hell did I come back?". I spent my days laying in the sun, running outside, driving with the windows down - all the things one loves doing in 70 degree weather. Now that I'm back in 9 degree weather, I feel I may have made a mistake in returning.
      All I know is that I am super fortunate to have friends and family who are willing to host me for a month, a place that I can call my second home. What was really nice is that Shelley introduced me to her group of friends and we had so much fun together - I felt like I was immediately accepted and fit in, like I was meant to be there.
      Not to cry you a river or anything, but I don't have much of that here where I live. I have friends but everyone lives quite a distance away so it's not like I have anyone with whom I can grab a quick dinner or take in a movie at the drop of a hat. My friend plans need to be planned. And it's kind of a pain in the ass. I enjoyed just picking up the phone and making a plan on the spot for dinner that same night. It was nice to be social and out and warm. Sorry, I know 'warm' doesn't fit in that context, but I really need to emphasize how freakin' nice the weather was. Damn, I miss it.
       Anyway, I'll let the pictures do the talking.

For a girl who is afraid of birds, this madness looked apocalyptic!
Not my idea of a relaxing day at the beach. 

                                   

                                                    Yeah, but look at that water... 

Out for Shelley's "21st" birthday!! Haha. Forever 21, baby!

Me and the beautiful birthday girl!! 

Look at this wonky crew - we are clearly having too much fun. 

And what would the night be if we didn't stop for milkshakes on the way home.
Note: this is my VERY FIRST Steak and Shake experience - hence, the hat. I vowed that I would never eat there, because I HATE the name Steak and Shake, but hey, alcohol makes us do crazy things. 

I took this while driving (I know not safe!) but how could I resist. Beautiful sunset on our way to Tampa
(Shelley was taking a snooze so she couldn't be my designated photographer.)

Reunited and it feels so good! :) Me and my buddy Darrell who I haven't seen in FOREVER. 

The girls back in action. SELFIE!! 

Driving down to the Keys. - aka paradise. 

Our first stop - Operation Lunch!! We were huuuungry after such a long trip! Almost there. 

Stop #1 on my hunt for the best Key Lime Pie in town. Let me just tell you now,
every one that I was eating in that moment was the BEST one. 

Guess where I am. Oh and I am SO my dad's daughter with my affinity for signs. 

Beautiful day, sun on our skin, breeze in our hair, and having a few beers at the raw bar.
Does life get any better than this?

These tarpon fish were NO JOKE the size of small children.
They were terrifying and so damn close!

Oop, stop #2. (And honestly, my favorite of all the one I had.
I ate this one on two separate days - THAT'S how good it was!)

Me and my parentals! 

Me and my mooja-star - dinner at the Pasta Garden. Yum! 

The first thing I notice about this picture? Not the humongous teeth on the giant shark.
No. It's my neon white hair. #whitehairdontcare

Mallory Square in the heart of the Keys!

Blue Heaven - one of my favorite restaurants on the island.
And another magical place for Key Lime pie, if I do say so myself. 

Hanging with the fam at the hotel. Beer in my hand and toes in the sand.
This is what life's all about!

My cousins dragged me out and introduced me to (are you ready for this) Mexican Lollipop shots: Patron, Watermelon Pucker, and hot sauce. OLE! This translated into the most heinous hangover I've had so far in 2015.
OWWWIIEE! Even my eyebrows hurt. 

The Mad Hatter's Tea Party - St. John Neumann Fundraiser. What a blast. I think we caused too much ruckus at what should have been a prim and proper event! SO MUCH FUN WITH MY LADIES!! 

Me and my parents at the Hyatt after we had an awesome spa day and some lunch.
Have I mentioned that I am one lucky gal? Oh yeah, my parents take goooooood care of me. 

Me and my second family - Mrs. Raley and my best gal Shelley just chillin' at the beach. 

What a view.

Last Naples breakfast. Went to The Cove Inn for the BEST pancakes in town.
Right up there with Pamela's in Pittsburgh (my all-time fav!)

Last night out with the gang. Dinner at PF Changs. Me and my bestie Shelley! 

Me and Bren. #Whatthe30

Me and Nestor. The most thoughtful and caring person I've ever met. 

Me and Emily - she's got moooooves like Jagger baby!

Me and Matt - SOUP FOR DAYS!!! YAY!

Me and Laura - where is Toby!?!
 I feel like we are missing an integral part of the group!

Group pic! TEAR - I DON'T WANNA LEAVE

As I sit here and write this, it is 9 degrees with a wind chill of -13. Sooooo..... how soon can I run away and go back? How's this weekend sound?