And so it begins...

       As you probably have guessed, I used to be fat... and it was not so long ago that this was my reality. In fact, over the last half of a year, I have lost 85 pounds and am still going strong. (woohoo!) I'm not sure of a goal weight or how much more I want to lose, all I know is that I am doing things that I never thought I would be doing; I am living the life I was meant to live. I am 27 years old and before this cataclysmic transformation, I had been acting like an 85 year old grandma, often opting out of activities due to issues with self-confidence (or lack thereof) or for fear that others would think, "What is that fat girl doing!?!"
       Now granted, I have never really been big on caring about what others think, that is until I reached almost 300 pounds. When you literally become an entity that even you don't understand, it is easy to believe that EVERYONE is judging you. And why the hell wouldn't they be? I mean, I spent most of my day judging myself so I guess I figured everyone would follow suit.
      Oh and for the record, I didn't "get fat" due to complete negligence or insatiable gluttony. In fact, if I catalogued all of the gyms I've belonged to and the number (and types) of classes I've attended, weight loss programs I've bought into and specialists I've seen, we'd pretty much be here all day. I've been overweight my entire life. Call it my genetic constitution, call it my not-so-lucky lot in life, call it whatever you want; but long story short, this has been an epic battle, my epic battle, for as long as I can remember. My first formal weight loss program was LA Weight Loss, when I was 12 years old... and the complex developed from there. Anyway, so tack on (as previously mentioned) about 15 years of fad diets and failed weight loss attempts and it reached the point where I was almost resigned to just accept the hand I'd been dealt and try to live as a happy fat girl. It was at that point that I realized that I had reached a crossroads - Am I throwing in the towel, giving up too soon?Am I allowing myself to be defeated? Would I consider this defeat? Or is this me finding happiness in who I am? I mean, if it is in the cards for me to be fat, maybe I should just find a level of comfort in my own skin and own it. I batted it around for awhile and realized that as I was growing in size, my self-worth was shrinking... rapidly. And that was definitely NOT the direction I wanted my life to take.
      Actually, not to toot my own horn, but I am smart. I am funny. I am cultured and witty. I have dreams and ambitions. I am fun and independent. I have attended an Ivy League University; I have lived in Paris and studied at the Sorbonne. I speak French. I am well-read. And on and on and on. Even at my heaviest, I completed the Breast Cancer 3Day - a 60 mile walk over the course of three days. I know that I have a lot to offer this world; so how can I allow myself to be defined as "fat" and leave it at that. Was I going to allow the world to see the me the way that I was, unfortunately, allowing myself to become? I am not now, nor have I ever been a singular, one-dimensional being. I am dynamic and have discovered a need to show the world that I am a sum of my very many parts!
      For that reason, I am taking life by the balls and fulfilling the long list of things that I have been benching as a cause of my weight. Life ain't holding me back no more! So for those of you reading this that are: hoping to lose weight, have been fortunate enough to drop the pounds that have been holding you back, or even those who, regardless of their weight, feel that they are not living up to their potential... GET OFF YOUR RUMPS AND LET'S KICK SOME ASS TOGETHER! I've decided I'm not going down without a fight, and I have a lot of life to live and a lot of time to make up for. It's now or never baby. Let's rock and roll! Who's with me?